Eighties bullies rated by face-punchability

Ogre

Revenge of The Nerds

Within 30 seconds of ogre's introduction he murders someone. Straight up. Coldbloodedly. Remember, this is a lighthearted teen comedy about nerds. You see, Ogre, is functionally retarded, but has been allowed to go to college because he is good at sports. Hmmm, let's see: he has a mental illness, and a murderous dislike of scholarly types...is college the best place for this guy?

Face punchability: 4.5 (I feel bad hurting a mentally challenged guy)

 
 Biff Tannon


As seen in Back to the Future

Biff Tannon is more to be pitied than punched. His insults are worse than his continued attempts to murder Michael J Fox across time and generation. And, yes, although he did attempt to rape Marty's mother let's not forget that he was floored by a punch from Crispin Glover. This dude:

Pictured: Not a badass

It's got to the point where three movies and unlimited failure later...I wanna give Biff a re-assuring pat on the back and offer him cup of tea.

Punchability: 5 (I'll put my fist in your face but my heart won't be in it)

 

Johnny

As seen in The karate Kid

If there's any one person in movie history who deserves a punch in his stupid blonde face, it's dickhead Johnny. He wears a goddamned headband. That's strike one, right there. His whole deal in life seems to be riding around on a dirt bike, like he's Dennis Hopper in Easy-fucking-Rider, assaulting vaguely ethnic looking kids to the worst power-balads of the eighties.

Asshole's of this magnitude grow hemorrhoids with their own gravitational pull.

Punchability factor: 7.6 (He'll need that headband to stop his brains leaking out of his punched in face)

Steff McKee


As seen in Pretty In Pink


Where do I start? He has the name of a middle aged lesbian and he looks like he belongs in a shampoo commercial. The idea that such a blowdried douche could ever be a bully (surely he would be punched to death the first time he left his house looking like that?) is bad enough. But, Jesus Christ! Look at him. LOOK! If I wasn't aware that the concept violated all the laws of thermodynamics I would dedicate my life to creating a perpetual punching machine just so I could use it on someone who just happens to LOOK VAGUELY like this dude. True hatred has a name: that name is Steff McKee

Punchability: 10 (There is no God)